To Be Loved Is To Be Seen- You Deserve To Feel Safe

“Making someone feel seen, heard, and understood is the loudest way to love them. - Tobi Mac

Most of my life, I have been told that I am calm someone who doesn’t easily get flustered or irritated by life’s ups and downs. Now, in my early thirties, I find myself on a journey of discovering the truth and perhaps the untruth of that statement.

Through introspection and meaningful conversations with safe people of the same faith

and beliefs. I have begun to understand how I navigate stress, disappointment, fear, discouragement, and anxiety. These have become reliable tools, guiding me as I explore my soul’s response to life. My friendships over the years have offered genuine safety, peace, and joy, helping me better understand my calm nature through prayer and reflecting on truth. The more I engage in life-giving conversations, the more secure, accepted, and regulated my mind and nervous system feel.

Life’s stressors have often tried to disrupt this inner calm, pulling me toward a state of confusion where it becomes difficult to distinguish between what is healthy and unhealthy for me. Recently, I experienced a soul-crushing moment that left me breathless, speechless, and questioning my life’s purpose as a professional Educator. In that space, a gentle invitation from a trusted friend encouraged me to pause, breath and reframe the anxiety and move forward knowing whose got your back. The urge to shrink back into old patterns is very real, but the assurance of a safe person who is willing to remind you that you will be okay.

This changed everything for me. I want to stay in a state of calmness as I navigate life, for that to happen I need to consciously choose to redirect my thoughts to what is true about me. The truth is I deserve to live in a safe environment listening to truth from people who affirm that in me all the time.

I had grown accustomed to self-reliance, but I am learning that life is richer, and more bearable, when lived alongside your tribe. Some of the most profound revelations have come through the presence of like-minded individuals who share similar values and perspectives.

The people we surround ourselves with can become a safe landing in every season if we choose them. In these spaces, you are not unseen, unheard or unloved. You are valued, seen and loved as you are.

Written by Elizabeth Ooko

Youth Mental Health Ambassador

#YouAreNotAloneAfrica

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